winneganfake: (Default)
[personal profile] winneganfake
Hah. Ok, proofreaders, or anyone who just likes watching me shove a stick into a hornet's nest- anyone want to check this thing over before I send it?

Jack Saltzman/Chicago Game & Card Company-

Given your hidden charges for pre-press work; your inability/unwillingness to provide any proof or assurance of quality before payment is rendered; your rather exorbitant rates for production; your lack of professional syntax, grammar, or basic capitalization in emails; and your inability to even remember the name of your customer's product after seeing mention of it in filenames, web pages, and other locations, I've decided to take my business to another printing company. I've taken the liberty of removing my files from your ftp server, please destroy any other copies you may have of them.

Sincerely,

Dmitri Arbacauskas
Owner/Artist
Tormented Artifacts, ltd.


The scary part is? That's probably only two thirds of the reasons why I'm dissatisfied with them. Seriously- game designers on here, word of warning- do not take your business to these guys. The deck's already with another company and halfway through prepress now.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feather333.livejournal.com
looks good!

though given the content of this e-mail, they'll probably wonder why you only put the first half of all those Winkies in ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winneganfake.livejournal.com
Given the contact I've had with them so far, yeah, it wouldn't surprise me in the least. Ugh.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kadath.livejournal.com
Replace all the semicolons with commas, and the last comma (the one between "server" and "please") with a semicolon. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
I would leave the semicolons in to serve as super-commas since some of the items in the list include commas within them. You do need either a semicolon or a period between server and please.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kadath.livejournal.com
Noooooooooooooooo! They are not independent clauses! They don't even contain verbs!

/slow-motion run to keep Dmitri away from the "Send" button

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
No one's arguing that items in a list are independent clauses. They are, however, items containing commas, so they need to be separated by the semicolon in its other role as super-comma.

http://www.essortment.com/all/semicolon_rcnr.htm

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kadath.livejournal.com
I don't support the "super-comma" usage at all.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:31 pm (UTC)
sheistheweather: (Literature-Fox)
From: [personal profile] sheistheweather
Nor I.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
Fair enough. The real question is how do you feel about the serial comma?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kadath.livejournal.com
You can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank goodness you're sensible about the things that matter.

Wait. You mean by that that you love the serial comma and would never give up using it as all good people should, right?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kadath.livejournal.com
You know what we call people who don't? Terrorists.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
It's true. That's how you can tell.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-13 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luchog.livejournal.com
It is, however, approved standard usage; as per Strunk and White, and NYT Style Guide.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-13 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wire-mother.livejournal.com
NYT Style Guide is one thing. Strunk & White, on the other hand, is atrocious nonsense.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
That is an excellent rule of thumb unless the semicolon is being used as a super-comma rather than to join clauses. If it were me, I'd probably use bullet points instead because that's my favorite way to make lists.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faerieburst.livejournal.com
I agree with you. I deleted my comment because I'm in a terrible mood right now, and I realized I after I hit Post that it was terribly terse and bitchy. My apologies, that did NOT need to be directed your way.

And after I deleted it, I considered the fact that some of the clauses in his list contain "comma lists", which would call for a semicolon for differentiation. However, normally, that is used when the list is consistently full of commas, (like: "I went to Seattle, Washington; Portland, Oregon; and Astoria, Oregon on my vacation.") and the semicolons are necessary for differentiation. Here, only 2 of the clauses contain "comma lists" and they are so far into the sentence that their existence really gets lost and the use of the semicolons screams wrong.

After thinking about it, I think the issue boils down the fact that it is an overlong, overwrought sentence, and the solution is to break it up. Bullet points are an excellent way to do it. The list could also be incorporated by starting the sentence with: "I am taking my business to another printing company because: 1. blah blah blah; 2. blah, blah, blah; 3. etc." and the semicolons would read as much, much more appropriate.

~Aramada

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-12 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] domestinatrix.livejournal.com
I didn't take your comment as bitchy at all.

I do agree that the first semicolon struck me as a bit off until I got down to the comma lists. Shorter sentences tend to be better in many cases, especially when upbraiding someone for being an idiot.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-13 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luchog.livejournal.com
Usage is technically correct; but I agree that it looks a bit clumsy. A bullet-point list would probably work better (although bullet-points to the head would work best).

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