Bastard's Notebook

My evil, inhuman bastard of a cat is going to die. horribly. He's figured out a brand new technique, runs something like this:

"Hm, it's 5am. I want breakfast, but the tall humans are just going to ignore me this early in the morning. WAIT! I know. If I wake up the little human, one of them will have to get out of bed to deal with her, and I can get fed at the same time. Excellent! Victory is mine!"


My cat is both intelligent, and made of pure unrefined evil for coming up with this cunning plot. Next, he may try to take over the world.